When You Find Your Tribe

When I started my blog, I think I fully intended to write a “what is ADHD” explanation post. In true ADHD fashion, though, I procrastinated because I could never get it “right” – until I eventually just forgot I intended to write one at all. This post sounds so much like what I would have written, if I could go back in time and write a blog during the original diagnosis process itself.

I remember that stage right before/during diagnosis where I Googled All the Things! I remember feeling like, “Oh my God, finally a questionnaire I don’t have to half fake just to score high enough to get help!” I am glad someone actually was clever enough to put these thoughts into a blog post in media res, and that thanks to the wonder of the reblog I can creatively “borrow” it with one click!

Also, for anyone reading closely, the bit in this post about women with ADHD being good in a crisis? It can still be true for those who are co-diagnosed with PTSD. I’m always the calm, rationale, almost-detached person during the crisis itself. I’ve been so calm I’ve been called selfish repeatedly in my life simply for not freaking out enough. I’ve carried that stoicism far enough you’d never even know I had PTSD if I didn’t tell you. It’s when the crisis is over, in the privacy of my own home, that the toll starts to show. Calling me selfish is also a big trigger for me, for both PTSD and RSD reasons.

`O ka hali`a aloha i hiki mai

It seems fitting that I’m finally writing a post so long after my last one.  I definitely need to invest more time in blogging since it’s both therapeutic and provides a means to remember the fun adventures we’ve experienced!

Today isn’t about a family adventure however.

Today’s post is twenty years plus in the making.

If you haven’t yet guessed, as a child I experienced more than my fair share of trauma and mental illness.  It’s impacted me long into life, but I’m grateful for the strength I’ve gained from it.  I’m the person I am today, the person my friends, family and husband love in spite of or because of it.

For over twenty years, I’ve been told that I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and depression.  Let’s say my primary care physicians have told me that since I was eight, which means it’s been 28 years of…

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