Lavender: "Okay, much as I like your hair longer, I feel sympathetic pain. Split ends suck. My hair is crunchy. If your hair is also crunchy, you are allowed to cut it." Partner: "No. I mean, I don't think it is? I can't tell. Maybe I just don't know what to look for? You could … Continue reading Social Eye-solation
Author: lavenderandlevity
Lavender writes under a pseudonym, but she wants people to know that it isn't out of shame. Experiencing trauma, learning disabilities, mental and/or chronic illnesses, are not shameful! She works in big data, but volunteering for social justice, mental health and invisible illness advocacy groups and peer supports are among her true passions. She also loves improv comedy, pretending she knows how to craft, reading, cooking, taking up new hobbies and then abandoning them three months later, traveling, staying up until the wee hours of the morning talking about life, the universe and politics, and practicing modified-for-hypermobile-joints yoga.
ACE in the Hole
CW: Discussions of childhood ACES. Mentions of alcohol use and verbal abuse during childhood. Read safely! Partner (on phone): "'Always,' 'Never,' 'I don't know how to answer that. It was 'Always' when we still lived there, but 'Never' now because we have public transportation? Well, okay, not 'Never.' Public transportation isn't perfect out here, and … Continue reading ACE in the Hole
Compassion is Not a Zero-Sum Game
CW: Descriptions of multiple types of systemic abuse and personal crises. Be safe while reading! The Poor People's Mass Assembly and Moral March on Washington is happening today. It has been planned for two years to draw attention to the plight of the poor and of systemic racism in the U.S. I wish I had … Continue reading Compassion is Not a Zero-Sum Game
Messages in a Bottle #16: How to Dilettante with Dysautonomia
CW: Mentions of consuming alcohol in a safe and responsible way. So, uh, how about what is going on in the U.S. right now? Which part? Well, uh, all of it. Plus whichever thing has most recently happened as of the time you read this post. The U.S. was a pretty systemically horrible place in … Continue reading Messages in a Bottle #16: How to Dilettante with Dysautonomia
We Should All Be Tired
"I’m so very, very tired" I first heard this spoken by a colleague of color this week trying to explain the toll that seeing yet one more blatant murder of a black man in America had taken on him. Then I saw it posted by others of color on Facebook. Then, once I'd seen it … Continue reading We Should All Be Tired
Improv #22/Where’s Whoopsie #25: Middling Management
"If-then statements: 'If we do X, then Y not?" "Bread Metaphor --> 'engage the clients in the discussion'" What does this even mean? I have absolutely no idea! These are actual notes I took about some meeting recently. I give it even odds whether it was work or improv, though, as I've seen a couple … Continue reading Improv #22/Where’s Whoopsie #25: Middling Management
Brevity is the Soul of Apathetically #7: Netflix and ADHD Pills
The rest of America has mostly re-opened, so I will claim I'm posting these because pretty soon people are going to be really sick of reading about quarantine even on the East Coast. Why waste what I put in the "massive" effort to write (er, well, "write down")?! But, let's be real here: a) we … Continue reading Brevity is the Soul of Apathetically #7: Netflix and ADHD Pills
Our New Normal
This month is always a weird time for me. Too many negative memories all clustered in one frustrating birth month. So, it's no surprise in hindsight, I suppose, why I've been feeling more dissociated, weird and generally "floaty" than normal recently. I always feel more dissociated, weird and generally "floaty" on Hallmark holidays, during my … Continue reading Our New Normal
Putting a (telephone) ring on it?
CW: Discussions of evangelical religious beliefs and horrible beliefs about the causes of, and appropriate responses to, covid-19. Discussions of managing challenging relationships with Partner's high-risk older evangelical grandparents as his birth state re-opens. Reminders that - while we have been fortunate (so far) not to have anyone we personally know have had covid-19 severely … Continue reading Putting a (telephone) ring on it?
Do We Really Need to Put a Label on Things?
Useful Background Knowledge: As of the time of this writing, our county has more confirmed covid-19 cases than over two-thirds of all U.S. states.*We don't own a car. This makes "avoiding public transportation or ride-share services" challenging. Our "primary medical provider" is one of those commuter rail trips we are supposed to avoid if we … Continue reading Do We Really Need to Put a Label on Things?