Brevity is the Soul of Apathetically #2: Lack of Mental Liquidity

*Lavender dumps Liquid IV powder into a glass of water and throws out the packet in the garbage* *Lavender gets a spoon, stirs the Liquid IV up and proceeds to almost throw the spoon in the trash as well* Lavender: "No, wait, this is a spoon. Spoons go in sinks. Why did I want to …

Meteorological Misanthropy #2/Subway Sociology #8: Winds of Change

History Channel Announcer: "Tonight, four of the world's strongest men will compete for the world's greatest prize: bragging rights!" Partner: "That's not much of a prize!" Lavender: "You've obviously never had your entire sense of self-worth founded on other people's perceptions of you, I take it?" Partner: "No, why would I set that as a …

Where’s Whoopsie #22: Lavender is Self-Protectively

I'm still here, but longer commutes lead to longer flares. And, longer flares lead to more swollen hands that need to be saved for work. Fortunately (?), my commute will be a lot more manageable after next month because our current place finally raised the rent for lease renewal enough to overcome our inertia about …

Subway Sociology #7/Improv #18: Dysautomomia

You know it's hot when... Your city subway sends you an emergency number to notify if you start to roast alive in their subway cars using the system they normally use to notify about line delays!  Wait, were you expecting a punch line to that one? Because that experience was real and is deadly serious. …

Where’s Whoopsie #21: Tea Hydration Solutions

Lavender: “Are you sure I should keep buying Gatorade to function out in public? I could just stop going anywhere until it cools down. In theory, in two or three months it will start being human-livable again.” Partner: “Complain less. Guzzle more. You are the only one being weird about paying for the hydration drinks …

Stick with It

Sometimes I have a flare and want to save my poor swollen hands for work. Since I always write on July 4th, check back then for a full post! In the meantime, if anyone needs any encouragement this week: If my squishy can stick to the ceiling for a full 15 seconds through sheer grit …

Messages in a Bottle #13: Placebo Effects

I bought pink Himalayan salt pills today instead of my usual generic salt capsales. I know some people think the "highest amount of trace minerals of any salt" are independently useful, but my default assumption is still that salt is salt. I have a scientific image to maintain at all costs, after all. My conception …

Subway Sociology #7: Weed Out the Weak

I have spent many years traveling on a graduate student's budget. Travel was - and is - my preferred way of handling the Christmas holidays, which would rank second after the week-that-shall-not-be-named (aka this one) on my list of least favorite times of the year, except for the fact that my travel tradition actually makes …

Subway Sociology #6: I Seat Drunk People

Did I ever mention that I am an irony magnet? This is an important baseline state of reality to establish for new readers who might otherwise question how my Partner and I, specifically, ended up being the second and third of (hopefully only) three residents of a large urban city stuck explaining the intricacies of …

Shooting for the Spoons

A lot of popular wisdom is rather dubious when actually examined. For instance, the common career advice to, "Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you will still land among the stars." Unless the flat-Earthers know something I really don't, even good old Sol is much further away from us than the moon... Another bit of …