Improv #20: Inconsistent Who?

*Knock Knock* “Who's there?” “Improv” “Improv who?” “Improv, who do you think you are claiming to be “inclusive” while you accuse a chronically ill woman of faking her invisible illness?” Inconsistency bothers me. For instance, I normally include a joke at the beginning of improv-related posts. I forgot to do so for my last post …

Brevity is the Soul of Apathetically #2: Lack of Mental Liquidity

*Lavender dumps Liquid IV powder into a glass of water and throws out the packet in the garbage* *Lavender gets a spoon, stirs the Liquid IV up and proceeds to almost throw the spoon in the trash as well* Lavender: "No, wait, this is a spoon. Spoons go in sinks. Why did I want to …

Meteorological Misanthropy #3: Atmospheric Accountability

I apparently have a new pet peeve in fantasy novels. I'm currently reading a fantasy novel that shall remain nameless so that - as with a t.v. show that shall also remain nameless - I don't have to learn how to space posts to avoid spoiler alerts. The novel itself falls somewhere above "completely generic …

Meteorological Misanthropy #2/Subway Sociology #8: Winds of Change

History Channel Announcer: "Tonight, four of the world's strongest men will compete for the world's greatest prize: bragging rights!" Partner: "That's not much of a prize!" Lavender: "You've obviously never had your entire sense of self-worth founded on other people's perceptions of you, I take it?" Partner: "No, why would I set that as a …

Messages in a Bottle #16: Meteorologic Misanthropy Miniseries Intro

My next three blog posts were all originally written in August/early September, at the height of Gentrification Moving "Hey, Climate Change Affects the Northeast, Too!" Season. During the past six weeks of meteorological tristate/microstate (plus parts of Canada) mayhem, I've tackled a new job, a new lease, planning a move, temporarily doubling my old commute …

Where’s Whoopsie #22: Lavender is Self-Protectively

I'm still here, but longer commutes lead to longer flares. And, longer flares lead to more swollen hands that need to be saved for work. Fortunately (?), my commute will be a lot more manageable after next month because our current place finally raised the rent for lease renewal enough to overcome our inertia about …

Messages in a Bottle #15: Sharkna-Don’t-Mess-with-Me

After a few blessed days of rain, it has resumed being entirely too hot to live, and my creative juices are currently leaking out my ears and puddling on the floor. But, at least my brain is only melting, rather than being constructed entirely out of (presumably also melting) cheez whiz. I am fully lucid …

Subway Sociology #7/Improv #18: Dysautomomia

You know it's hot when... Your city subway sends you an emergency number to notify if you start to roast alive in their subway cars using the system they normally use to notify about line delays!  Wait, were you expecting a punch line to that one? Because that experience was real and is deadly serious. …

Where’s Whoopsie #21: Tea Hydration Solutions

Lavender: “Are you sure I should keep buying Gatorade to function out in public? I could just stop going anywhere until it cools down. In theory, in two or three months it will start being human-livable again.” Partner: “Complain less. Guzzle more. You are the only one being weird about paying for the hydration drinks …

Stick with It

Sometimes I have a flare and want to save my poor swollen hands for work. Since I always write on July 4th, check back then for a full post! In the meantime, if anyone needs any encouragement this week: If my squishy can stick to the ceiling for a full 15 seconds through sheer grit …