No Praise Like Home

You know how trauma workbooks commonly offer a warning to stop, to practice self-care, and to return to a chapter at a future time if any material in it becomes too triggering? I have never paid much attention to those warnings, even during those years when my mistrust of the system was so intense that … Continue reading No Praise Like Home

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Messages in a Bottle #14: If You’re a Poet and You Don’t Know It…

Traumaversaries are weird. I have learned that it is entirely possible for me to feel stressed, anxious, rejection sensitive and floaty for days with no overt understanding of why I am feeling this way - even throughout events that should otherwise be fun in present-day 2019 - because my subconscious mind still remembers what my conscious mind … Continue reading Messages in a Bottle #14: If You’re a Poet and You Don’t Know It…

Messages in a Bottle #12: Six Degrees of Kevin Broken

CW: descriptions of systemic abuse, abuse statistics, speaking out about past abuses This Message in a Bottle was literally previously a published blog post in March. But, the original version of the post was first password-protected, because, at the time, I worried that putting it out there simultaneously would somehow undermine the credibility of what … Continue reading Messages in a Bottle #12: Six Degrees of Kevin Broken

Trust in Mental Health Treatment #5/Where’s Whoopsie #19: Ire of the Storm

The reason I am awake at 4am is below. It is also, apparently, in the papers (or, at least, the digital online copies of the "papers" since it's 2019 and I don't remember what any dead-tree paper looks like outside of my intimidating sketchbook...) I've been noticing an uptick recently in the number of media … Continue reading Trust in Mental Health Treatment #5/Where’s Whoopsie #19: Ire of the Storm

Offer What Light You Can

Content Warning: I began my Reality Journal on March 7th, 2018. Astute readers might realize that, if we are almost to the one-year anniversary of the creation of that journal, we have already passed the one-year anniversary of its inspiring event. I can somehow concurrently not remember enough details of that night because of dissociation … Continue reading Offer What Light You Can

Eek! Previews

Emotional flashbacks are tricky to recognize. You can become thoroughly caught up in the fight/flight/freeze responses of the past without even realizing you have shifted. And, even if you do realize you are in one, it can be tricky to recognize to what, exactly, you are flashing back. There are, after all, so many discreet … Continue reading Eek! Previews

Messages in a Bottle #11: Scheissegeist

Content warning: mentions of past abuse and medical crises. Mentions of the 9th Circle of Hell. Zeitgeist means "spirit of the times." It is the idea that you have to judge the past by the understanding of those of its day, not necessarily by modern conceptions. Scheissegeist...well let's just say that is a term for … Continue reading Messages in a Bottle #11: Scheissegeist

Trust in Mental Health Treatment (Part 4): Choose Your Own Adventure

So, I potentially have good news. I've gotten to the final round of the interview process for a new job in my same city. It's what I do now but with a different organization. I'll update eventually whether I got the job, but talking about it right now feels a bit too much like tempting … Continue reading Trust in Mental Health Treatment (Part 4): Choose Your Own Adventure

The Trolley Persecutor

CW: keeping secrets about child abuse, descriptions of child abuse, discussions of death and systemic abuse, swearing, and standard "never go to the 9th Circle of Hell" trauma. I've said before that I'm open to being challenged on even very sensitive topics on this blog, as long as basic trust and safety is maintained. One … Continue reading The Trolley Persecutor