My PTSD Awareness: Currently Subject to Mental Health Austerity Policies

PTSD sucks. I have previously written 48 posts to this effect. (But who's counting?) Today is National PTSD Awareness Day. I'm still generally too overwhelmed in my ability to cope from ongoing 9th Circle of Hell trauma and PTSD symptoms - oh the irony! - to muster up my usual witty commentary on my awareness of …

Advertisement

RE: Your Brains

CW: Indirect descriptions of PTSD symptoms, the aftermath of trauma, and workplace bullying. Have you ever wondered what a zombie with an office job would look like? If you've heard Jonathan Coulton's excellent "RE: Your Brains," you don't have to ask. If you haven't, I do suggest you listen to it eventually, but there's no …

Cheez Whiz for Brains

*CW: oblique references to intense subject matter, but without details. The human brain - especially the ADHD brain - has a way of latching on to the most inane of details. It dutifully encodes what the original package writing was on the box of records carried into the courtroom itself. It encodes the original sticker …

Trust and Mental Health Treatment (Part 3): What the Asses Meant

Assessment (noun): the act of assessing; appraisal; evaluation Also known as a determination of what a bunch of asses meant. Psychiatrists have fifteen minutes with their patients, so it's already a reasonable assumption that they base the majority of their assessments of patients on immediate impressions, stereotypes and whatever was current when they graduated medical …

Empty “Next” Syndrome

Happy Mother's Day to those who are mothers or have the kind of relationship with theirs where they can celebrate them. Happy Mother's Day also to the newly pregnant. Two of my friends delivered that other form of joyous news today. It's kind of an auspicious day to announce that, I guess. I wish them …

Messages in a Bottle#5.5: You Failed *Me* the Day The Newspaper Headlined “Families Trusted ___ To Care for Their Relatives and it Systematically Failed Them,” Too.

CW: Discussions of systematic abuse of various types. This post has a much longer introduction here that explains why I am posting it today. Read that first if you want the full backstory (or forward story as the case may be). I won't give the original date of this journal article. I'm already quoting almost …

Messages in a Bottle #5: Don’t Tell Me I’m Safe

CW: Discussions of systematic abuse of various types. This week has not been a good week. I've said before that I'm a primary caregiver (along with another family member who still resides in the state) of someone who needs full-time 24/7 medical, disability and mental health care beyond what is possible for us to provide …

20H8: H8as vs. D8a

I want Mueller to take down Trump. My head wants Trump taken down any way possible, but my heart specifically wants Mueller to do it. He's a wonk. He's a wonk who is described (by anyone other than the most vocal House Republicans) as scrupulously based in the data, cautious enough to only act when …

Messages in a Bottle #1: Ghosts of Christmas Past

Journaling just for myself has never felt like self-care. The bully-in-my-brain sees it as indulgent and self-justifying, and it has never felt satisfying to write anything creative that only my eyes would see. Plus, I find ways to hate anything creative that I write. I’m a much harsher critic than the Internet. I gave up …

Lavender is Not Indigo

Purple is my favorite color. What shade? Every shade in the Crayola Big Box. I even count magenta as an honorary purple. Early on, it was indigo. I have a recording of my younger sibling's first word. While my parents tried to document the milestone, four-year-old Lavender can be heard interjecting her thoughts. Everyone's continued …