*Press It* Mental Health Awareness Blog Share

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I’d like for all my blogging buddies to share the name of their site, and a few of you mental health disorders, in order for others to learn more about you, and mental illness. Goal? To break the stigma that is accompanied by Mental Health. My name is […]

via May is Mental Health Awareness Month! Share Your Experience and Blog Site — Beckie’s Mental Mess

Beckie is looking to connect with other bloggers who write about mental health for Mental Health Awareness Month. Head on over and introduce yourself!

I’m disabling comments on this post so that folks will share links on the original post.

Need a recap of anything I’m talking about in any post? Check out the Glossary of Terms.


Improv* #6: A Meetup Group with Social Anxiety Tries to Walk into a Bar…

How to Make Friends
Source: XKCD

…The bartender says, “We don’t serve folks with social anxiety here.”

The groups shrugs their shoulders and replies, ‘Well, if that diagnosis doesn’t work, how about depression, PTSD or ADHD? We’ve got a few options for what to call ourselves…’

The bartender shrugs, “One of those ought to count. Come on in.”

You probably thought I was going to go with the ending where they all shrugged their shoulders in relief and walked away because they didn’t really want to be in public anyway, didn’t you? Well, I was trying not to be cliché. After all, I tried to go to a meetup group for folks with social anxiety last night. At the time I thought of that joke, it seemed like the obvious ending was just a mental loophole giving me permission to chicken out. Chickening out at the last minute, even mentally, didn’t seem like the best option given I had three hours left to keep myself psyched up to actually go and “be friends at people.”

Continue reading “Improv* #6: A Meetup Group with Social Anxiety Tries to Walk into a Bar…”

Where’s “Wool”-sie #8: New Yearling, New Ewe

I must confess: I got mutton to say this week. I’m on vacation.

I won’t even attempt to pull the wool over your eyes that this is one of my photos – though it certainly could be given the backdrop I’m looking at. I’m on vacation. I can’t help but want to ram this point home here: I don’t care to do anything that might take actual work on vacation. Not even the work it takes to upload a real pic from my phone, deidentify it and post it. Not when uploading a stock(yard) photo from Creative Commons is so much easier.

I hope ewe are able to shear some responsibilities from your schedule and take some time off today, too. Especially if you had a late night of holiday week obligations – or are resting up to stay up to midnight in a couple days!

Rest assured, however, my flock that I will be back to spinning my yarns next week.

(And, okay, have a Where’s Woolsie completed overseas anyway! Just one, though, because I didn’t bring any of the ones I had completed previously to keep it company.)


Need a recap of anything I’m talking about in any post? Check out the Glossary of Terms.

Where’s Whoopsie #7: Merry Christmas to All and May You All Be Alright!

Twas the Night Before Christmas and in her flat on tenth floor,

Lav claimed indifference to doing her chores.

Compression stockings were hung in the bathroom with care .

Oh, who are we kidding? They showed wear and tear!

The kitty was nestled in laundry unfolded,

Knowing her owner hadn’t the heart to scold her.

And Lav with her blood pressure cuff and glass bottle

Gave up and to the sink for a refill did tottle.

When out in the hallway there arose such alarm

Her partner put hands to front door in case it felt warm!

Then to the peep hole Lavender…well, not quite “dashed.”

Wondering which of her neighbors were being so brash.

Fluorescent lights left the hallway aglow

Making it seem migraine aura explained sights below.

When what to her dazzled eyes should should say “Ho!”

But a hefty old dude and some hooved creatures, yo!

With red ruddy eyes and a belly so puffed

Lavender checked him for stroke and offered her cuff!

More rapid than drums Lav’s heart beat in her chest

But old Nick was quite healthy. He’d pass the tilt test.



Out the floor! Out the hall!

Now, dash away! dash away! dash away all!

As dry heaves we’re hurled – and the dizziness came nigh –

Lav begged a ride. Nick feared she’d faint and fall from the sky!

Now up to the flat top the coursers they flew,

With Lav’s salty snacks – no cookies –  so had to make do!

Her partner checked her over and urged she keep drinking.

He smiled at her “proof,” but thought she was overthinking.

Yet as he tucked her in bed – and begged she settle down –

Back through the window came St. Nick with a bound!

No dirt on him – not wrinkles nor speck of chimney dust.

Modern Santa used dry clean and made no more muss.

He was hip to the WiFi, and he used Google maps.

But losing GPS signal was a load of ho ho…crap!

Could he borrow her WiFi (and maybe more snacks)?

Update Google maps and get back out and on track?

Lav’s partner just nodded, now made a believer.

He slipped back to the bedroom to wake and retrieve her.

Though a hazard to navigate laundry and clutter,

Lav’s reindeer-speed downloads set Nick’s heart a flutter!

And as he heard that telltale package go crinkle…

His eyes lit on Glutinos and sparkled and twinkled!

His droll little mouth curled up in a huge smile.

Now here was some sustenance that was more worth his while!

The three shared some tea and some gluten-free pastries

Kitty kibble it seemed, was to reindeer quite tasty!

Though Lav and her partner offered St. Nick more respite,

The night was still young. Nick had steps left on his Fitbit!

He filled up their stockings with Squishies and fidgets

With such deft sleight of hand none saw his quick digits!

And giving a whistle, he hopped back out the window.

Tucking and rolling, landing in his sleigh with some show!

And they heard his goodbye in a jolly old croon:

“Happy Christmas to all and to all a few spoons!”

Need a recap of anything I’m talking about in any post? Check out the Glossary of Terms.

*Press It*: A One Word Sentence

“The proposed tax reform package stakes out America’s bid to become the most unequal society in the world, and will greatly increase the already high levels of wealth and income inequality between the richest 1% and the poorest 50% of Americans.  The dramatic cuts in welfare, foreshadowed by the President and Speaker Ryan, and already beginning to be implemented by the administration, will essentially shred crucial dimensions of a safety net that is already full of holes.”

Those were the frightening words of Philip Alston, the UN special rapporteur on extreme poverty and human rights. Jill, of Filosofa’s Word, added her own insightful commentary, which I have reblogged below.

At first, I didn’t know what else I could add that could compete with the gravitas of what has already been written, or even how to condense my thoughts into something coherent. Fortunately, I remembered the English language is versatile enough to sum up my penetrating commentary in a single concise sentence:

Fuck the fucking fuckers.

“American Dream is rapidly becoming American Illusion,” warns UN rights expert on poverty You knew it was happening, and so did I, but now it is official … Trump is turning this nation into the “world champion of extreme inequality”, according to a new report by the United Nations (UN). Philip Alston, the UN special […]

via The “American Dream” … — Filosofa’s Word

Need a recap of anything I’m talking about in any post? Check out the Glossary of Terms.

Blogmas 2017 Christmas Tag


Happy Holidays!

This is not a blog award post, per se, but the tag is the closest I can currently conceive to categorize it among similar get-to-know-you type posts. A Christmas tag is naturally limited in time to reply, so I will apologize in advance to one of the bloggers I tagged in this post for prioritizing it over a prior post of theirs. I will get to yours, too! I love get-to-know-you posts. I just want to beat the clock on the Christmas post first!

Before me, Crafts, Chronic Illness and Adulting was “it,” and, before that, Chronically Hopeful. Before that…I’ve lost track. I don’t think the post originated within the chronic illness/mental health blogging communities, specifically, but I’m keeping that recent trend alive with my tags. All nominees interested in participating are encouraged to use the hashtag #ChristmasCheer to keep related posts searchable together. Please don’t feel obligated to take part. This post is just for some festive fun, and I’ll be the first to understand if holiday posts aren’t always “festive” or “fun.” A clean copy of the questions for those who are interested is available at the end of the post.

Continue reading “Blogmas 2017 Christmas Tag”

The Religious Wronged (a #metoo story)

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts talking about both the recent spate of sexual harassment/abuse allegations against Hollywood/political officials and how difficult the holidays can be for people with mental health challenges.

I feel a little guilty that I’m fortunate enough to be able to opt out of half of the holiday problem. From the time I first moved out on my own, I have adopted my own way of dealing with the disconnect and pain of the holidays: I leave the country. It turns out if you are diligent, buy your ticket in September, are willing to go to literally wherever in the world is the cheapest when you put in to “anywhere” on the ticket site, are willing to travel to countries that don’t necessarily celebrate Christmas as a national holiday and are just generally privileged, you can hide from American Christmas. On the one hand, I kept that up even on a grad student stipend while readily admitting that others might have said there were better uses for my money – but I never found them and probably needed travel to keep my sanity during my improperly medicated grad school years. On the one hand, my ability to just leave the country, even in the cheapest most Airbnb-before-it-got-cool way, is still deeply privileged. I get that, and I feel a little guilty suggesting that as a solution since it truly isn’t viable for so many others. Thus, I sometimes feel a little guilty when others talk about all the triggers inherent in the holidays. I am triggered by them too – but I opt out in ways others can’t.

On the other hand, I can only opt out of half of the holidays, and the other half often makes up for what I miss on Christmas.

Continue reading “The Religious Wronged (a #metoo story)”

Failing at Failing Forward by Succeeding Anyway?

Another blogger, with a much bigger following than mine, has a contact me notice that you can request she review your blog. She’s a professional editor for her day job.

This should be right up my alley. However, she very clearly specifies that bloggers should prepare for constructive criticism if they request a review. I perceived a bit of a challenge in those words: don’t ask if you don’t want to know. I chickened out on hitting submit.

Continue reading “Failing at Failing Forward by Succeeding Anyway?”

Where’s Whoopsie #5: Like Red Before The Bull$hi7 (Er, bull. Er, cow, as the case may be.)

I write anonymously. I write anonymously because I am aware of what the consequences could be at my work if everyone – including my boss who hates knowing any personal information about any employees – knew my inner thoughts and challenges. I write anonymously because my trauma history isn’t mine alone, and I don’t want to take away someone’s voice and someone’s story without their consent, even if it is my story, too. I write anonymously because I have C-PTSD. I don’t inherently trust that the world is a safe place, and sharing my name is making me even more vulnerable. It might make me a target.

I write anonymously, but I admire those who don’t. It takes a lot of guts to own your story that way, and to have silenced the bully-in-your-brain enough to stick up for the bully-on-the-street’s next victim. Thus, I am both furious and afraid to have learned about a specific online abuse site targeting Spoonies. Apparently, this group has been trolling dysautonomia message boards, and now dysautonomia online spaces are warning others that what they post on Facebook, on blogs, and on support forums is not necessarily private. They have not caught the member who masqueraded as a dysautonomia sufferer to take the screenshots and make the abusive hate posts. The group may have targeted dysautonomia sufferers lately, but based on what I saw of their website, they have targeted all Spoonies at one point or another. They also post photos – again with real names – of people they consider fat, ugly, slutty or any characteristic you can think of to shame someone with.

Continue reading “Where’s Whoopsie #5: Like Red Before The Bull$hi7 (Er, bull. Er, cow, as the case may be.)”

Hey Dysautonomia International: My anxiety is only “all in my head” because that’s where my brain is!

I had a dream last night that I was in high school again. That’s never a great start to any day, so I’ll blame that for the fact that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I’ll blame that, work, and all the usual hassles of my diagnoses, but I’ll write this semi-ranting post anyway because I also partly blame Dysautonomia International.

In my dream, one of my friends in high school was trying to convince me to partake in her stash of alcohol. I wasn’t a huge party girl in high school, but I did occasionally drink at her parties. In my dream, I tried to explain to her that going to the party had used up all my spoons for the day. Drinking wasn’t an option. She replied that depression, which is all I was diagnosed with at that point, didn’t count for Spoon Theory. It wasn’t a chronic illness: chronic illness only includes the physical! Then I woke up.

I got on Facebook to see what that friend was up to now. Her attitude in my dream was purely the bully-in-my-brain’s invention. She is still – as far as I can tell – a bit of a high-lifer. She is/was also a lovely person. While on Facebook, I saw another friend posting about her difficulties completing day-to-day tasks during a bout of depression. She referenced Spoon Theory, and someone in the comments stated that she has the physical capability to leave the house and, thus, shouldn’t appropriate Spoon Theory. It sucks that her mind wouldn’t let her leave the house, but she could leave if there was a fire. My more-aware-of-social-concepts partner explained to me that appearing to show concern for someone on the Internet – but putting someone down in the process – is called concern trolling.

Continue reading “Hey Dysautonomia International: My anxiety is only “all in my head” because that’s where my brain is!”