Where’s Whoopsie #17: Two-Ply Christmas Lullaby

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

An extra roll of TP.

 

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Two bottles of Miralax and an extra roll of TP.

 

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Three gluten-free pancakes,

Two bottles of Miralax and an extra roll of TP.

 

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

“Oh, God don’t come in here!”

Three gluten-free pancakes, two bottles of Miralax

and an extra roll of TP.

 

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Five minutes of straining, “Oh, God don’t come in here!”

Three gluten-free pancakes, two bottles of Miralax

and an extra roll of TP.

 

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Six packs of undies, five minutes of straining,

“Oh, God don’t come in here!”

Three gluten-free pancakes, two bottles of Miralax

and an extra roll of TP.

 

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Seven bottles of Pepto, six packs of undies,

Five minutes of straining, “Oh, God don’t come in here!”

Three gluten-free pancakes, two bottles of Miralax

and an extra roll of TP.

 

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Eight clueless doctors, seven bottles of Pepto,

Six packs of undies, five minutes of straining,

“Oh, God don’t come in here!”

Three gluten-free pancakes, two bottles of Miralax

and an extra roll of TP.

 

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Nine restroom breaks, eight clueless doctors,

Seven bottles of Pepto, six packs of undies,

Five minutes of straining, “Oh, God don’t come in here!”

Three gluten-free pancakes, two bottles of Miralax

and an extra roll of TP.

 

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Ten stomach cramps, nine restroom breaks, eight clueless doctors

Seven bottles of Pepto, six packs of undies,

Five minutes of straining, “Oh God don’t come in here!”

Three gluten-free pancakes, two bottles of Miralax

and an extra roll of TP.

 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Eleven cutie tooties, ten stomach cramps, nine restroom breaks

Eight clueless doctors, seven bottles of Pepto

Six packs of undies, five minutes of straining,

“Oh God don’t come in here!”

Three gluten-free pancakes, two bottles of Miralax

and an extra roll of TP.

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Twelve billion active cultures, eleven cutie tooties,

Ten stomach cramps, nine restroom breaks

Eight clueless doctors, seven bottles of Pepto

Six packs of undies, five minutes of straining,

“Oh God don’t come in here!”

Three gluten-free pancakes, two bottles of Miralax

and an extra roll of TP.

 

Happy Holidays everyone. Wishing you an experience that is a treat for both taste buds and tummy! And, if you happen to get the former without the latter, here’s also wishing you a private bathroom well away from the prying eyes of “nosy” family members and that extra roll of TP! Oh, and remember that self-care is nothing to be ashamed of during a stressful holiday season.

Have some holiday-themed Where’s Whoopsie’s because nobody wants to see #2-themed pages on the #1 most-anticipated holiday for a majority of America. 😉

 

 

 

Need a recap of anything I’m talking about in any post? Check out the Glossary of Terms.

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Blogmas 2017 Christmas Tag

poinsettia

Happy Holidays!

This is not a blog award post, per se, but the tag is the closest I can currently conceive to categorize it among similar get-to-know-you type posts. A Christmas tag is naturally limited in time to reply, so I will apologize in advance to one of the bloggers I tagged in this post for prioritizing it over a prior post of theirs. I will get to yours, too! I love get-to-know-you posts. I just want to beat the clock on the Christmas post first!

Before me, Crafts, Chronic Illness and Adulting was “it,” and, before that, Chronically Hopeful. Before that…I’ve lost track. I don’t think the post originated within the chronic illness/mental health blogging communities, specifically, but I’m keeping that recent trend alive with my tags. All nominees interested in participating are encouraged to use the hashtag #ChristmasCheer to keep related posts searchable together. Please don’t feel obligated to take part. This post is just for some festive fun, and I’ll be the first to understand if holiday posts aren’t always “festive” or “fun.” A clean copy of the questions for those who are interested is available at the end of the post.

Continue reading “Blogmas 2017 Christmas Tag”