“Lavender, Where Are You?”

CW: Descriptions of childhood emotional abuse. There will come a point in 2020 when I can officially say that I have lived longer outside the 9th Circle of Hell than I have within it. I will not, unfortunately, be concurrently able to say that I have spent more time outside of Hell than I have … Continue reading “Lavender, Where Are You?”

Where’s Whoopsie #25/Improv #19: Hazy Shade of Waiting

Does an afternoon of quiet relaxation in a cafe with a journal, a sketchpad, a kindle, and some hot chocolate sound like bliss to you? More importantly, does it actually yield bliss for you? Because I have learned that the gulf between "sounds like" and "is" is about as wide as the gulf between my … Continue reading Where’s Whoopsie #25/Improv #19: Hazy Shade of Waiting

Meteorological Misanthropy #4: All I want for Christmas…

is to look at your two front teeth... ...or your nose...or your ear...or behind you. Basically anywhere but at your eyes. Because, yes, I am one of those neurodiverse girls for whom direct eye contact for extended periods of time is actually physically uncomfortable. I'm also one of those neurodiverse girls who has never fit … Continue reading Meteorological Misanthropy #4: All I want for Christmas…

Cantrips and Catechisms

CW: Mentions of Southern Evangelical religious beliefs that are pretty darn scary and in my mind qualify as genuine trauma. Also mentions of other forms of childhood trauma. All from the past, though, not the present. So, don’t worry! I promised….about two months ago...to tell the story of how I unmasked about trauma and neurodiversity … Continue reading Cantrips and Catechisms

Messages in a Bottle #16: Meteorologic Misanthropy Miniseries Intro

My next three blog posts were all originally written in August/early September, at the height of Gentrification Moving "Hey, Climate Change Affects the Northeast, Too!" Season. During the past six weeks of meteorological tristate/microstate (plus parts of Canada) mayhem, I've tackled a new job, a new lease, planning a move, temporarily doubling my old commute … Continue reading Messages in a Bottle #16: Meteorologic Misanthropy Miniseries Intro

No Praise Like Home

You know how trauma workbooks commonly offer a warning to stop, to practice self-care, and to return to a chapter at a future time if any material in it becomes too triggering? I have never paid much attention to those warnings, even during those years when my mistrust of the system was so intense that … Continue reading No Praise Like Home

Messages in a Bottle #15: Sharkna-Don’t-Mess-with-Me

After a few blessed days of rain, it has resumed being entirely too hot to live, and my creative juices are currently leaking out my ears and puddling on the floor. But, at least my brain is only melting, rather than being constructed entirely out of (presumably also melting) cheez whiz. I am fully lucid … Continue reading Messages in a Bottle #15: Sharkna-Don’t-Mess-with-Me

Long Walks and Candlelight Zen-ers

I sometimes think my Partner missed his life’s calling as a therapist, but whenever I mention this to him he reminds me that the only “people” he wants to be observant of and “people” with on a regular basis are me (and maybe the cat, who is unofficially a “people,” too!) As I’ve said before, … Continue reading Long Walks and Candlelight Zen-ers

Messages in a Bottle #14: If You’re a Poet and You Don’t Know It…

Traumaversaries are weird. I have learned that it is entirely possible for me to feel stressed, anxious, rejection sensitive and floaty for days with no overt understanding of why I am feeling this way - even throughout events that should otherwise be fun in present-day 2019 - because my subconscious mind still remembers what my conscious mind … Continue reading Messages in a Bottle #14: If You’re a Poet and You Don’t Know It…

Trust in Mental Health Treatment #5/Where’s Whoopsie #19: Ire of the Storm

The reason I am awake at 4am is below. It is also, apparently, in the papers (or, at least, the digital online copies of the "papers" since it's 2019 and I don't remember what any dead-tree paper looks like outside of my intimidating sketchbook...) I've been noticing an uptick recently in the number of media … Continue reading Trust in Mental Health Treatment #5/Where’s Whoopsie #19: Ire of the Storm