ACE in the Hole

CW: Discussions of childhood ACES. Mentions of alcohol use and verbal abuse during childhood. Read safely! Partner (on phone): "'Always,' 'Never,' 'I don't know how to answer that. It was 'Always' when we still lived there, but 'Never' now because we have public transportation? Well, okay, not 'Never.' Public transportation isn't perfect out here, and …

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Love in the Time of Corona

CW: Covid-19 as filtered through an Evangelical world view. People behaving badly out of fear. Mentions of past loss of family members who didn't seek medical treatment. General saltiness about all of the above. You know the old saying. Family: you can't live with them, and... Wait. Was there supposed to be a second half …

Trust in Mental Health Treatment #6: Axe to Grind

Actual texts sent to my Partner from my psychiatrist appointment: Lavender: "Mental health treatment is bullshit. I got the first appointment with my psychiatrist at 8:30am - knowing how ridiculously early that is – and I honored that commitment to wake up on a weekend to be available for rehearsal. It’s 9:45am and he hasn't …

Messages in a Bottle #13: Placebo Effects

I bought pink Himalayan salt pills today instead of my usual generic salt capsales. I know some people think the "highest amount of trace minerals of any salt" are independently useful, but my default assumption is still that salt is salt. I have a scientific image to maintain at all costs, after all. My conception …

Where’s Whoopsie #14: Where’s it Hurt?

Traveling and being unwilling to bring anything I have actually invested time and effort in with me to Hell means I haven't posted a Where's Whoopsie since July! I suppose I could have posted some of my decidedly not-safe-for-work swear word drawings that I relied upon instead of geometric patterns to express my feelings during …

Eye Rate

Ehlers-Danlos is a systemic disorder. That clearly means it can affect any part of our body that either has collagen or relies on collagen. This is rather unfortunate, given that about 30% of the raw protein content in our bodies is made up of collagen. Collagen is in everything: our stomachs, our skin, our ligaments, …

Trust and Mental Health Treatment (Part 3): What the Asses Meant

Assessment (noun): the act of assessing; appraisal; evaluation Also known as a determination of what a bunch of asses meant. Psychiatrists have fifteen minutes with their patients, so it's already a reasonable assumption that they base the majority of their assessments of patients on immediate impressions, stereotypes and whatever was current when they graduated medical …

Class Discrimination and the Republican Health Care Bill

In my last two blog posts, I have talked about my fears of, and experiences with, medical discrimination. I haven't talked about medical bills, though they are rapidly stacking up. I was raised in the middle class, and my current income from my numbers-heavy job keeps me there (so far. ADHD isn't a great thing …

Trust and Mental Health Treatment (Part 2): Dropping the F(ibro) Bomb

I may or may not have fibromyalgia. Or maybe I should say that I have fibromyalgia if I accept the diagnosis? That will maybe make more sense - well, maybe make some sense - after I explain, hopefully? Honestly, if it ends up making sense to you, readers, please let me know. I'm still confused! …

Trust and Mental Health Treatment (Part 1): Why Do Doctors Assume I’m Going to Answer a Mental Health Screener for Strangers?

Medical professionals have started asking me questions as they take my vitals like, "How often do you feel bad about yourself - or that you are a failure or have let yourself or your family down?" This whole blog is about how often I feel like a failure, and how I'd like to feel like that …