CW: Descriptions of childhood emotional abuse. There will come a point in 2020 when I can officially say that I have lived longer outside the 9th Circle of Hell than I have within it. I will not, unfortunately, be concurrently able to say that I have spent more time outside of Hell than I have … Continue reading “Lavender, Where Are You?”
Offer What Light You Can
Content Warning: I began my Reality Journal on March 7th, 2018. Astute readers might realize that, if we are almost to the one-year anniversary of the creation of that journal, we have already passed the one-year anniversary of its inspiring event. I can somehow concurrently not remember enough details of that night because of dissociation … Continue reading Offer What Light You Can
And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Secrets…
CW: keeping secrets about child abuse, the aftermath of systemic abuse in the present day, family secrets, intergenerational trauma, swearing, and standard "never go to the 9th Circle of Hell" trauma. I've run away from this topic for a good three posts now, but I guess it's time to return to our regularly scheduled shit … Continue reading And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Secrets…
Uh Oh, Spaghetti-Ohs!
You know what they say: if you're stuck in bowl hole, don't keep pigging digging. I grabbed a few spoons - and I don't mean of the good kind - and dug in this week. That's the nature of executive dysfunction coupled with a tendency to dissociate. I am not the best at self-care in … Continue reading Uh Oh, Spaghetti-Ohs!
Too Little, Too Late?
Remember how I said that despite all my efforts, the first abusive group home my sibling was in never actually closed? Because, well, in the 9th Circle of Hell: 1) There's a chronic shortage of providers (because the state itself effed its own finances and healthcare so thoroughly that no provider can afford to provide … Continue reading Too Little, Too Late?
Improv #11: I’m Mrs. Bright Blogs
*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "The Bright Side" "The Bright Side Who?" "The Bright Side Who Doesn't Actually Exist" "Oh. Then I guess this is just another dissociative conversation with the bully-in-my-brain, then?" "You catch on not quickly at all, don't you? Also, your joke sucks." I'm fairly sure the first rule of building a blog … Continue reading Improv #11: I’m Mrs. Bright Blogs
Where Would the NHS Rank Trauma on the Pain Scale?
Hi everyone, First, I want to say thank you to everyone who talked me through the past two days. I made it out of that Sheraton break room eventually, and I did manage to give my presentation the next day. I know some people asked what I was presenting on, but in the world of … Continue reading Where Would the NHS Rank Trauma on the Pain Scale?