Pot Meet Another Kettle

Last time I wrote, I promised an honest review of adult psychoactive recreational substances as a solution for election-night anxieties. My review sums up to: I'm not "recreationally" affected, but they do make for slightly less unsettled sleep. My longer report is as follows: "Being the irony magnet scientist that I am, I have had …

It Can’t Happen Here?

CW: American eugenics in the time of corona. States announcing they will deny life-saving treatment to corona patients if they have disabilities such as "Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, autism and other such conditions." For anyone who has ever said, "it can't happen here..." Yes, it can. And it has already (as you will well know …

Messages in a Bottle #14: If You’re a Poet and You Don’t Know It…

Traumaversaries are weird. I have learned that it is entirely possible for me to feel stressed, anxious, rejection sensitive and floaty for days with no overt understanding of why I am feeling this way - even throughout events that should otherwise be fun in present-day 2019 - because my subconscious mind still remembers what my conscious mind …

Messages in a Bottle #12: Six Degrees of Kevin Broken

CW: descriptions of systemic abuse, abuse statistics, speaking out about past abuses This Message in a Bottle was literally previously a published blog post in March. But, the original version of the post was first password-protected, because, at the time, I worried that putting it out there simultaneously would somehow undermine the credibility of what …

Offer What Light You Can

Content Warning: I began my Reality Journal on March 7th, 2018. Astute readers might realize that, if we are almost to the one-year anniversary of the creation of that journal, we have already passed the one-year anniversary of its inspiring event. I can somehow concurrently not remember enough details of that night because of dissociation …

The Trolley Persecutor

CW: keeping secrets about child abuse, descriptions of child abuse, discussions of death and systemic abuse, swearing, and standard "never go to the 9th Circle of Hell" trauma. I've said before that I'm open to being challenged on even very sensitive topics on this blog, as long as basic trust and safety is maintained. One …

And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Secrets…

CW: keeping secrets about child abuse, the aftermath of systemic abuse in the present day, family secrets, intergenerational trauma, swearing, and standard "never go to the 9th Circle of Hell" trauma. I've run away from this topic for a good three posts now, but I guess it's time to return to our regularly scheduled shit …

Uh Oh, Spaghetti-Ohs!

You know what they say: if you're stuck in bowl hole, don't keep pigging digging. I grabbed a few spoons - and I don't mean of the good kind - and dug in this week. That's the nature of executive dysfunction coupled with a tendency to dissociate. I am not the best at self-care in …

Too Little, Too Late?

Remember how I said that despite all my efforts, the first abusive group home my sibling was in never actually closed? Because, well, in the 9th Circle of Hell: 1) There's a chronic shortage of providers (because the state itself effed its own finances and healthcare so thoroughly that no provider can afford to provide …

Messages in a Bottle #9: The Archivist

This CW is so important it should be in neon flashing lights. This is a serious post. Serious like: mentions of 9th Circle of Hell current systemic abuse, mentions of the same kind of systemic abuse on another blog, and mentions of past suicidal feelings and coercive control. I really meant it when I said …